Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
