I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
