i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
