She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize