walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize