I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize