i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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