All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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