Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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