Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize