Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
