Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
