Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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