she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
