Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
