so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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