Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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