Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
