Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize