i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
