i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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