Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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