Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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