What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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