I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
