went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
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