I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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