Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
