What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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