Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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