i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it's great music for shaving your balls
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
