I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
