Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
