Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
