just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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