This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
