I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
