I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
