So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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