Your face is a jimmy john
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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