mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
