Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
