Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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