God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
