who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
God, I missed his penis.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
