If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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