the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
