ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
