Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
