haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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