If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
