: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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