Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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