No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
