so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
