I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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