I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
