I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
