Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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