Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
ttyl tear gas
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
why is half of my head shaved?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
