omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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