we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
