when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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