Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
