He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we're making bets on your personal life
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
