Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
