dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
God, I missed his penis.
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