That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
