i will never coherently bang her
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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