But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
