Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
