Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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