me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize