He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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