he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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